We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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