All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
