sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
