I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize