Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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