somebody snuck up and got me drunk
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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