I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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