There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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