yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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