I must be too annoying 4 u.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Randomize
