How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
