Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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