well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
