I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
