oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
