pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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