I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
