you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
