So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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