we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You took a bar mat shot.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
