Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
This toilet bowl is my home.
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