I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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