Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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