Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
