I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
This is the high leading the old right now
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
