I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
