i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
