Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
