i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize