I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
