i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
