I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
