Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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