SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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