We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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