So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
