Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I have demons in me.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
