Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
