So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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