I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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