I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
