My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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