The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
