Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i dont even know how to be here
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
