thus making me awesome and them whores
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
