Pappa wants mamma naked
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
