your room smells of hookers.
And success
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
