he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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