just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
