i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Randomize
