i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
If I had your ass I would rule the world
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
