i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
