Dual....:-)
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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