69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
