Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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