so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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