yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
