You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
