Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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