clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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