You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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