I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I think I died a long time ago.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
