It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
