she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
