My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
