just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Randomize
