how can u be prego again
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Did you pee in the oven last night??
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
