uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
