I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
