I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
