Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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