I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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