Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
