I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
