You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
