The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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