i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
